🔗 Share this article

The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?